I Love Her, I Really Do
by theplurplefactory
Summary: So this is a one-shot based off of the book: "I'm Not Myself These Days". An insight on a relationship that crosses the lines of absurdity and normalcy. Special thanks to ItsBlue1223 for editing this for me! Percy/Silena (Contains some adult references)


**Hey! So this is a one-shot was inspired by the prologue of the amazing book "I'm Not Myself These Days". If you haven't already read it, I suggest you do. It's different and fresh and surprisingly funny. So this is kind of set in an alternate universe and the characters are going to be OC. Just a warning! Well, enjoy and tell me what you think!**

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I wake up and groan, my body being unbearably sore from whatever I did/drank the night before. It is six in the morning and the sun has just begun to peek out from behind the lilac and salmon colored clouds. The door to my cabin is cracked open. I groggily lift myself up and support my upper body weight onto my elbows. I blink a few times and look around the cabin, not missing the raven-haired, blue-eyed daughter of Aphrodite who currently sat on the lower bed of the bunk next to me looking intently at her sword. Her sword was designed perfectly for her, with its faint metallic pink tint and rhinestone encrusted handle. I made sure the welder had engraved her name softly at the base of the blade.

Questioning why my girlfriend was sitting across from me with her custom made sword at six in the morning, was something that someone who was perhaps fully sane—and not at all mentally exhausted—would consider doing. It is slightly worrying that watching her stroke her sword in a stereotypically creepy manner does not faze me at all. Honestly, Zeus could be here with his lightning bolt moments away from killing me and I doubt I would give so much a reaction as a paused blink.

"Silena." She looks up somewhat surprised, but knowing—as if she had been waiting a while for me to wake up and notice her glorious presence. Her eyes are bright and there are very faint bags under her eyes. I wonder if she's under the influence.

"Perseus..."

"What are you doing?" It sounds more of a statement when it leaves my mouth, because to ask a question you must be curious and these days nothing intrigues me. This is, of course, except Silena...occasionally.

Silena gives a girly sigh and looks up at the ceiling like a girl being bugged by a little brother. When her eyes return to meet mine they are void of emotion and yet they still gleam. She has a light shadow of a smile on her face that reminds me of my internal demons. They remind me that she's still fighting her own, too. I love her. I really do.

"I was going to kill you." I blink once. It's long and lazy and I struggle to reopen my eyes.

"And what has stopped you, m'lady?" She giggles at my remark and it's genuine. Her belle-like giggle fades out and her face takes on a faraway look as if she was reminiscing, but this can't be right. Silena doesn't reminisce because she doesn't ponder on the past. Her life is fast-paced and simply does not stop long enough for it.

"I was going to do it with this sword, but then I remembered when you gave it to me. It's beautiful, Percy, and I love it. The intricate details are...wonderful. When I brought it from my cabin, I thought it would make this more sentimental. But then I saw you sleeping, and you're always so beautiful and soft asleep. I sat down and watched you for a long time before deciding that using this sword would just be in bad taste. And you know how much I hate tackiness." Her voice always sounded like belles, the beautiful tinkling ones that gently ring in cool spring afternoons. I really love her.

"Are you high?"

"I can't remember."

"Huh. So what was the motive behind your attempt at murdering your boyfriend?"

She puckers her lips a little as she uses the hem of her pajama shirt to polish her sword. Tonight she has on my orange Camp Half-Blood shirt. I did not give it to her, so sometime during her midnight stakeout, she must have changed into it, leaving her own shirt misplaced somewhere inside my cabin. The shirt fits Silena though, she has tied it a little near her waist and leaves enough of her smooth stomach revealed. The shirt has been tightened enough to where my eyes couldn't help but wander up to her chest. The words "Camp Half-Blood" lay delicately, taunting me of what was—until a few months ago—off limits. Her hair is down, a dark mix of cascading waves and curls that have been somewhat disturbed by sleep. Silena's wearing the same shorts she always does when she sleeps. My hand instinctively twitches to touch her smooth thighs, but my common sense wills me to stop, probably for the best. She was intending on killing me.

"I wanted a Romeo and Juliet style going, but better because we're better. And more dramatic."

"And so..."

"I was going to kill you, and then kill myself, and we would've died together. I figured this sword would do the trick." I frown slightly at this.

"But I went through a lot to get that sword for you. It's still pretty new." Her sword would have gotten the job done. I had it made extra sharp just for her because Silena's not the strongest girl on the planet and would need more of an edge in battle.

"I know." We've been carrying out this entire conversation as calmly as if we were an old married couple trying to decide on what we going to watch on paper view. It is quite typical for us, even in situations like this.

"So are you going to carry out the mission?" I already know the answer. I have absolutely no doubt that Silena could kill me if she wanted, and I don't doubt that if I hadn't woken when I did, she would have changed her mind and I'd most likely be dead. One day, she'll probably take us both down in a huge, crazy, drugged up stupor in an act of tragic love without my consent. We're so fucked up that we might literally kill each other out of "love"—a desperate and violent attempt to save the other from their secret inner hells.

"I don't think so." She looks disappointed that her Shakespeare themed homicide was no longer in motion.

Silena is still across from me and I ache for her as much as I am sure she yearns for me despite our near zero compatibility. She slaps me and says I'm shit so I yell things that will make her cry. I call her a slut and an ungrateful bitch, so she cuts me. I break her and she still loves me, she kills me inside and I still love her and we keep each other alive.

Once, one of our fights got so bad that Silena smashed my new phone with her heels and threw Riptide into the lake and I had strongly refrained myself from slapping her. Then, she burned me and I cut off a few locks of her hair. She then attempted to stab me and I dug my nails so deep into her arms that I drew blood. She made a few swipes at me with her sword and I knocked her down so she'd hit the floor hard. I was an inconsiderate asshole and she was a manipulative bitch. Silena told me to burn in hell while throwing anything in her arm's reach at me, and I reminded her that I'd be seeing her there as I drenched her completely. Just straight water hitting her face for quite a few seconds had her calm down and relax. After that, she begun to cry. The fight had been about jealousy. Things such as my—apparently—never-ending lists of female acquaintances and her—seemingly—always increasing amount of male friends played major roles.

We were banned from seeing each other for a few days.

I've never had anyone push me as much as Silena does. She deliberately pushes and pushes to see how far I'll go, and she's good for me in a sense. How it all started, I honestly don't know. Silena crept up on me, like a spider or a crack addiction. It took six months for her to own me. Six months for Silena to make herself one of the most important people in my life. A year and a half later, we're still the same. Sure, a bit more insane but the same as before. No matter what we do or what happens we'll love each other anyways because no one else gets us. No one else will ever be able to handle our issues.

It's hard for others to understand our need for recklessness. Our addiction with being free of all ties, with the exception of each other, terrifies and yet draws other people to us. People who want to be us, to feel a bit rebellious for few hours before retracting to their respective normalcies in life. But, with Silena and me, our lives are a 24/7 retaliation. I have yet to discover against what.

I wonder if our parents would be ashamed of what we've become. Fucked up teenagers whose only lifeline was the person they hate so much they love. Perhaps her mother takes sick entertainment from her most memorable daughter's destructive love. I don't know any of this. I also don't care. I do know that Silena will not kill me, at least not today. She's heard my voice and it's reminded her of why she loves me. We won't die today.

"Put the sword in the holder by the door and come to bed." Silena gets up and slowly saunters towards the stand by the door, swaying her hips the whole time in an obvious effort at seduction. It sickly kind of works.

"Get me a shirt while your over there, please." Silena cheekily ignores my request and hurries back across the room to my bed. I sigh and shift over to make room for her. She climbs in and wraps her arms around my waist, burying her face in my neck, leaving soft kisses. I cover us with the sea themed blankets. This is her way of saying sorry. I suppose this time it's an apology for seriously considering killing me.

Her fingers trail down my chest and I shiver from her touch. She softly nips at my jaw and makes her way slowly to my collarbone, sucking and licking as she did so. Making marks that claim me as her own. I take a deep whiff of her hair. She smells like lilies dipped in vodka.

I bring her face up to mine and capture her lips in a rough kiss. I usually kiss Silena with as much gentleness as I can muster and I ironically try to treat her like a fragile glass doll, but now it's different. I'm slightly hungover and I am more than sure that she's coming off some kind of high.

Our teeth clatter as they clash painfully. I pull her as close as I can against me and get a grip in her hair. I tug at her black locks a little and chuckle knowingly at her replying moan. She always did tend to like it rough. I roll on top of her and with my arms on either side of her head, she still has a top on and this bothers me. I yank my shirt off over her head without warning and throw it across the room.

"Ow, Percy!" She yelps. I raise my eyebrows lazily.

"Hmm?"

"That hurt!" She pouts her plump pink lips and her perfectly plucked eyebrows form a frown. Her bright blue eyes pierce my green ones with irritation. I follow the soft curves of her cheekbones and jawline, down her neck and decolletage area. Her breasts only covered now by a pretty, little black bra. I look back at her with exasperation clearly evident in my face. She's so beautiful, and I hate that about her. I leave kisses on the soft skin of her newly exposed cleavage area and hover over her. I'm so close my lips practically graze hers as I speak.

"I'm sorry. Would you like me to stop?" Her body heaves from her heavy breaths. She grabs my face dramatically and looks at me intently, her blue eyes even more striking than before.

"No. Please?"

"Well, now I just want to lay here with you. Are you going to stab me to death if I go back to sleep?" I ask tiredly. She gazes at me, her eyes full of affection and consideration.

"Only if you want me to?" I shake my head and roll back over to my back. I put my arm around her and bring her back into my side. She wraps her arms back around my waist and reburies herself into my neck. I breathe in her scent again.

"Not today." I muzzle my face into her hair and close my eyes ready to drift off.

"Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Your girlfriend is sorry for earlier."

"Tell my girlfriend that it could've been worse. She could've been Medusa."

"I love you Perce. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"I'd die for you."

"I know." She pokes my stomach and I smile into her hair. "I love you too. I really do."

She smiles and looks up at me. I brush a stray piece of ebony hair from her face.

"We're going to grow old together and have lots of babies and travel. Don't worry Perce we'll do it all. At least the traveling part, anyway."_ If we don't kill each other first._ Literally, that is if we do not murder each other.

"Mmhmm."

"We'd be shit parents, huh?" I chuckle a bit. Silena's a dreamer, an odd one but a dreamer none the less. I think this is one of the reasons I love her. Maybe it's her spontaneous way of life. Whatever it is, it makes me want to make her mine. Preferably a small quick wedding, but she'll never allow that. She wants a big grand white one even though she's far from pure.

"Probably, but don't think about that right now. Go to sleep Sel, we only a few more hours before we have to wake up and you're doing cabin inspections today." She nods.

"I'm going to fail you."

"No sex for a week, then."She laughs into my neck and I am finally allowed to fall into an peculiarly peaceful slumber. I grip her small body closer.

I love her. I really,_ really_ do.


End file.
